A friend lost his child today. He had a congenital neurologic disease and the outcome was inevitable. I have a heavy feeling in my chest that won't go away. All I can think is "How do I take some of the pain away" Of course I can't. Nothing can. I have a child, I think about him every day and losing him would be disabling. So what do I do? What do I think?

He was a tender loving soul, his smile was angelic and pure. I didn't take part in any of the difficult moments, any of the suffering and pain that comes with a sick child. My kid was really sick for a few hours I rushed him to the hospital and my whole world was in disarray. This couple has lived like that every day.

It's a cruel world, in so many way. The beautiful things don't really make up for it. There's no excuse for tragedy. It's not fair. There's no reason. The darkness for me is overwhelming, the pain and the sadness is terrifying.

I'm sitting here trying to come to grips with the abstract. What are they doing? How can they fill the emptiness. Of course they can't. Nothing can fill that void.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't their more often. We weren't the closest of friends but I should of known how precious the time was. I should have made more of an effort. I shied away and ran. I didn't take the time, make the effort.

The world became sadder and colder today.